Fren-a-mie: The Shorts, the Beach, and the Beauty of the Moment

Okay, ladies. Let me paint the picture. It’s a Saturday morning, the sun is shining, and I’m getting ready to head out with my best friend of over 25 years. Yes, you heard me right — twenty-five years of friendship, and this is the first time we’ve gone to the beach together. Can you believe that? Neither can I.

We’ve done life together. We’ve seen each other through breakups, jobs, kids, church, menopause mood swings, and countless late-night phone calls that start with “Girl, let me tell you…” But somehow, we never made it to the beach together. Until now.

It’s just an overnight trip. We’re arriving on Saturday and coming back Sunday. A two-hour road trip there and back. Nothing fancy. But oh, the meaning in this moment. Not just because I get one-on-one time with my homie, but because this is happening just a couple of weeks before I pack my bags and move to Mexico.

Talk about bittersweet. Talk about a chapter closing and another one opening.

The Packing Moment

So here I am, buzzing with excitement, pulling out my bag, deciding what to wear. And then… it happened.

I reached for my favorite shorts. You know the ones — comfy, cute, the kind that hug in the right places and give you that effortless “I woke up like this” confidence. Just last week, I wore them. They were loose, breezy, and perfect.

But today? Today they betrayed me.

As I slid them on, they felt… different. Not just different — tighter. Uncomfortable. Like suddenly, the waistband was auditioning for a role as a corset in some medieval drama. I stared in the mirror like, “Excuse me? Who authorized this?”

And here’s the kicker: these shorts have been through the wash plenty of times. We’ve been down this road before. But today? Today they decided to show me who’s boss.

Fren-a-mie

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Antoinette, just blame it on the cocktails you had last night.” Or maybe the wine. Or maybe the snacks from the road trip planning session.

But nope. Not me. I refuse.

Instead, I’ve decided to call out the real culprit: perimenopause.

Or as I like to call her… my fren-a-mie.

Say it slow with me now: f-r-e-n-a-mie. Question mark? Because some days she’s my friend, teaching me to slow down, giving me wisdom, helping me laugh at myself. And some days she’s my enemy, snatching my favorite shorts and whispering, “Not today, sis.”

You know that laugh-cry moment where you want to scream but all you can do is shake your head and chuckle? That was me this morning.

The Shorts Debacle

Let me just say this: it wasn’t me. It was the material. You know those fabrics that shrink every single time they go through the dryer? That’s what happened here. Has to be. Because surely, it’s not me. It’s definitely not the perimenopause weight shifts. It’s not the late-night snacks. Nope. It’s the material.

Ladies, sometimes you just have to laugh to keep from crying. And so, I laughed. Out loud. Standing there in my room, holding those shorts like they had just betrayed a sacred friendship.

Why This Trip Matters

But here’s the thing: even if my shorts don’t fit the way they used to, this trip isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence.

I’m about to move out of the country. Two weeks from now, my address changes, my routines shift, my whole world flips. But this weekend? It’s about soaking up the laughter, the memories, the late-night talks, the drive with the music turned up too loud, and the salty breeze on our faces.

Because sometimes, the real gift is not the perfect outfit or the picture-perfect Instagram moment. It’s the messy, hilarious, real-life stories that you’ll retell for years.

Friendship in the Fren-a-mie Years

Let’s be honest — these midlife years can feel like a battlefield. Our bodies are shifting. Our hormones are staging full-on rebellions. One day you wake up feeling fine, and the next day your shorts don’t fit and your mood is somewhere between “I love you” and “don’t talk to me.”

But having a friend who gets it? That’s gold. That’s the kind of friendship that makes the fren-a-mie years bearable.

Because when you text her, “Girl, my shorts betrayed me this morning,” she doesn’t judge. She doesn’t roll her eyes. She laughs with you. She probably sends back a meme. And then she says, “Pack the stretchy pants and let’s hit the beach.”

That’s what twenty-five years of friendship looks like.

Lessons from the Shorts (and the Fren-a-mie)

Now, you know me — I can’t just leave this as a funny story. There’s always a lesson in the madness. Here’s what those shorts reminded me this morning:

1. It’s Not About Perfection
   Life isn’t waiting for the perfect weight, the perfect moment, the perfect outfit. Life is happening right now. Live it.
2. Laugh at the Fren-a-mie
   Perimenopause (and menopause) may be unpredictable, but laughter keeps it from stealing your joy.
3. Stretchy Pants Are Holy
   Okay, maybe not holy, but definitely blessed. Invest in them. Wear them. Love them.
4. Presence Over Performance
   Your friends, your family, your memories — they don’t need you to show up flawless. They just need you to show up.
5. Friendship Makes Everything Sweeter
   A road trip with a best friend can heal things you didn’t even know were broken.

The Beach Healing

So off we go, me and my homie, hitting the road, blasting music, and laughing about everything and nothing. Two hours to the beach, two hours back, but a lifetime of memories made in between.

The ocean has a way of resetting your soul. The waves crash, the wind blows, and suddenly the noise of life quiets down. You remember who you are. You remember what matters. And you remember that even if your shorts don’t fit, you’re still you — strong, beautiful, funny, and free.

Encouragement for You

Sis, maybe your “shorts moment” isn’t about clothes. Maybe it’s your job. Your marriage. Your body. Your family dynamics. That thing that used to feel loose and comfortable now feels tight and awkward.

And maybe, like me, you’re tempted to blame yourself. But let me encourage you — sometimes it’s not you. Sometimes it’s just life, stretching and shifting. Sometimes it’s just the fabric of your season.

So laugh. Give yourself grace. Put on the stretchy pants if you need to. And remember — the real gift isn’t fitting into yesterday’s shorts. The real gift is living today, right where you are, with the people who matter most.

Hot Flashes & Cold Truths with Antoinette McCormick
Because sometimes your shorts don’t fit, your fren-a-mie shows up, and the only thing left to do… is laugh and head to the beach anyway.

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