Hey sisters, pull up a chair. Get comfortable. If you’re in my kitchen, you know there’s always a glass of wine or hot tea waiting for you, and if the weather’s right, we’ll eventually make our way out to the deck to keep the laughs rolling. But right now, let’s sit here at this table and get real.

Because listen. I don’t know if it’s just me, but here lately, I’m done blaming things on the rain, the age, the weather, or the full moon. Nope. At this stage of life, I’m blaming it on one thing and one thing only: menopause.

Can we just talk about it?

The Big M, Where Did It Come From?

Menopause. Perimenopause. Post-menopause. Midlife mayhem. Whatever name you want to slap on it, this ride is one wild rollercoaster. And no one prepared us. They gave us the puberty talk back in the day, awkward, sweaty, and full of diagrams in health class. But where was the “Menopause 101” session?

Sometimes I swear menopause feels like a spiritual attack. Like some warlord got mad at us and dropped a hex over our entire generation of women. Out of nowhere, we wake up in the middle of night drenched, moody, and forgetting where we put our phone. Where did this thing even come from? Left field? I’ll say. I wasn’t even in the game to be playing, so how did I catch it? And no, it’s not just a virus. Unfortunately not.

And you know what’s wild? We’re out here going through all this while still juggling jobs, kids, marriages, grandbabies, aging parents, side hustles, and whatever else life throws our way. Menopause is not just a “phase,” it’s a full-on lifestyle remix.

Hot Flashes and Cold Truths

Let’s talk about the obvious one: hot flashes. Whoever named them was being polite. These things are not little flashes, they are full-blown internal bonfires. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m ripping off layers like I’m in some kind of striptease contest nobody asked for.

My poor husband wakes up in a pool of water. Sorry baby, I am putting our business out there. And on a good night, when somehow the M word doesn’t show up as a sweaty hot flash and I’m able to get some rest, then my sweet husband begins to think it is safe for him to get some loving. As he begins to touch me, I have no choice but to turn into this monster that I don’t even want to be. That’s when the fan goes up higher, the blanket gets kicked off, and the mood goes right out the window.

And don’t get me started on night sweats. Waking up at 3 a.m., drenched, looking like I just ran a marathon in my sleep. Then five minutes later, I’m shivering and grabbing the blanket again. My poor bed doesn’t know if it’s a spa or an icebox.

Mood Swings, Who Even Am I?

One of the scariest, funniest, and sometimes most embarrassing parts of menopause is mood swings. One second I’m laughing at a joke, the next second I’m crying because the cat looked at me with love. Then five minutes later, I’m ready to fight somebody because they breathed too loud.

Ok ladies, don’t look at me like that. I’m being honest here. You know I’m telling the truth.

And don’t even lie, sis. You know you’ve had that moment where your family looks at you like they’re walking on eggshells. Your kids whisper in the kitchen like, “Don’t ask Mom, she’s in one of her moods.” And your man? He’s looking at you like you’ve turned into a whole new species.

But here’s the thing. Mood swings don’t make you crazy. They make you human. Hormones shifting, bodies changing, life piling up. It’s a lot. Sometimes that laugh-cry-yell cycle is exactly what your body needs to release it all.

The Bedroom Chronicles

Alright, let’s take it there because this is where things get real. Intimacy during menopause is complicated. Vaginal dryness shows up like an uninvited guest. Add in lower libido, bloating, fatigue, and suddenly sexy time feels more like a chore than an adventure.

Now, my husband is a sweet man. He’ll try to reach over at night, rub my shoulder, thinking he’s slick. And here I am, just starting to drift into a peaceful moment of sleep without sweat pouring off me, and suddenly his hand slides down and I’m like, “Lord, not tonight.” Then guilt sets in because I don’t want to be the monster who shuts him down. But sometimes, sis, my body and my brain are not in sync.

Here’s the truth though. Intimacy isn’t just about the act. It’s about connection. It’s about communication. It’s about laughing through the awkwardness and saying, “Look, things have changed, but we can still make this fun.” Lube exists. Toys exist. Conversations exist. And just because your body is changing doesn’t mean your sex life is over. It just means it’s evolving.

Brain Fog and the New Comedy Routine

Can we talk about brain fog? Because menopause has me out here forgetting words mid-sentence like I’m auditioning for a new comedy act. “Can you pass me the… the… you know… the cold thing… that holds food… oh yeah, refrigerator.”

Sis, I used to juggle schedules, meal plans, work projects, and family drama all in my head like it was nothing. Now, I walk into a room and forget why I’m there. And don’t even get me started on losing my phone while I’m on the phone.

But instead of beating myself up, I’ve learned to laugh about it. Because honestly, some of the funniest moments in life happen when you forget what you’re even laughing about.

Sisterhood on the Deck

You know what keeps me sane? Sisterhood. Sitting around the table or out on the deck with girlfriends who get it. The laughter, the honesty, the “me too, girl” moments. That’s medicine you can’t buy.

Menopause can feel isolating if we let it. But when we start talking about it, sharing the real, raw, messy, funny parts, we realize we’re not alone. And that alone lifts a weight off our shoulders.

We weren’t meant to go through this in silence. We were meant to hold each other up, laugh until we cry, and remind one another that we’re stronger than hot flashes, fiercer than mood swings, and far more beautiful than we often give ourselves credit for.

Quick Tip Breakouts

Two Bedtime Hacks for Better Sleep

1. Keep your room cool, between 65 and 68 degrees. Cooler temps calm hot flashes and night sweats.
2. Put a damp washcloth in the fridge before bed. When you wake up in a sweat, grab it for instant relief.

Three Foods to Support Your Hormones

• Avocados: healthy fats that boost hormone production.
• Leafy greens: spinach and kale are loaded with magnesium to ease mood swings and sleep issues.
• Salmon: omega-3s to improve circulation, mood, and vitality.

Two Simple Ways to Rekindle Intimacy

1. Talk openly. Tell your partner what feels good, what doesn’t, and laugh about the awkwardness together.
2. Add creativity. Try new routines, small touches, and moments of tenderness that take pressure off performance.

So What Now

Here’s the truth. Menopause isn’t the end of youth, it’s the beginning of wisdom. It’s the time when we finally say, “I know who I am, and I’m not apologizing for it.”

We’ve survived the teen years, the 20s hustle, the 30s balancing act, and the 40s reality check. Now we’re stepping into the years of owning our truth, speaking our mind, and living without shame.

So yes, menopause is messy. It’s sweaty, it’s emotional, it’s unpredictable. But it’s also freeing. Because if you can survive this, sis, you can survive anything.

Final Sip on the Deck

So pour yourself that glass of wine, or steep that hot tea. Let’s sit here together, laugh at the madness, cry when we need to, and keep encouraging each other. Menopause may be loud, but so are we. And we’re not going quietly into the night.

We’re going boldly, with humor, grace, and a sisterhood that’s unshakable.

So here’s my final word. Menopause doesn’t define us. We define it. And together, we’ll keep turning these hot flashes into cold truths that set us free.

Cheers, sis. You’re not alone. You’re powerful, hilarious, and absolutely unstoppable.

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